A new feeling of free…

These past few weeks have truly created a new beginning for me. A few weeks ago I woke up and said, ” This life sucks, I am so so sick of living like this. Constantly obsessed with counting, and planning and figuring meals. Im sick of feeling bad about myself cause I’m eating, or cause I can’t look a certain way. I constantly feel bad because I am doing something that is necessary to live. Does that mean that I should feel bad for breathing air? Its the same thing. I need food just as much as I need air. I am sick of this world. I AM SICK OF ED.!!!” That day created so many opportunities that I had never had before. I felt free. I could eat what I want, when I want, and  not having to feel bad about it. This feeling is nothing like I’ve ever felt before. I can go to the fridge and say- What sounds good right now? NOT- what has the lowest calories? Its amazing…. I can go make dinner with my boyfriend and enjoy it without a worry.  I can eat ice cream out of the container cause I don’t have to measure. I can grab something extra cause I feel like it- and thats what normal people do. I can eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. I stopped going to my dietician, it was causing more harm than good. Along with this new freedom, I’ve gained something more… Something so much more. Happiness… Real happiness. I look in the mirror everyday and say- wow, I love who I am. Ed is not worth my time anymore, or my energy. This was a part of my life yes, it help make me who I am today. I wouldn’t be half as strong, as I am today without going through this awful thing. But its time to say, Im done with it, and move on. My life is worth so much more than worrying about food, calories and exercising. Now it is about friends, family, school, my future, and my happiness. And real happiness, Not “ed happy…” Im here to say that sometimes being so fed up with something you just let it go. More importantly I’m here to tell you that there is light on the other side, JUST HANG IN THERE…..<3

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2 thoughts on “A new feeling of free…

  1. I’m glad you reached that mental place you need to in order to move forwards, recover, and discover true happiness. 🙂

  2. That is so good!! You should be so proud of yourself 🙂
    I really look forward to the day I can be at the place you are now – happy and healthy and FREE!

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