Here and now…

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Hello all my lovelies!
I’m so sorry I’ve been MIA lately, lots going on… Super busy! So time to catch you all up! New experiences and new challenges everyday.
First off I’ve started a new job. I absolutely love it! I am a EMT on an ambulance in the most dangerous city in the USA! Exciting? Yes! I figured out I’m a total trauma junkie! Shootings, stabbings? Bring them on! I have an amazing partner, he is great! From the beginning I was honest with him, and he is so supportive. I spend more time with him than I do my own family. He makes sure, I eat enough, I’m okay emotionally, and okay physically. He is awesome, he helps me more than I ever imagined. We have so much fun together, which makes my job is much better! We play games, make jokes and watch movies, super fun!

I have a few issues with the job though, unfortunately. I can’t make it through one shift without someone commenting on my weight, dieting, loosing weight or other unhealthy behaviors. I try to just let all these comments roll off my back, but it really does hurt. I don’t know, call me crazy, but I see it. One of the biggest things that bothers me is I’ve been having lots of people tell me that the only reason people like me is cause I’m thin. Ed loves hearing that. I try not to believe it, but it’s not easy. People see me and their eyes light up, is that cause I’m thin? The people that are close to me tell me people like me cUse of my personality, and who I am inside, and I really hope thats true.

I had a birthday within the last week- which I always have a hard time with. When people get me gifts I have a really hard time. I believe I don’t deserve them, and want to take them all back. I don’t know, I just don’t think I should have them. I did have a great time at dinner though. My mom took me and ale out for birthday dinner at Mongos, which I LOVE! We had dinner, then had cupcakes with ice cream, cupcake flavor- funfetti cake! This was after dinner, piggy back time!

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With my new job, I’ve had limited time with ale, so dates have been limited. Not to mention his family is still living with me. A few weeks ago, we went to the butterfly gardens which was fun!

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I am feeling a little guilty to be honest with you all. I told my mom that I’d be done with ed, by the first of May. I made her a promise, but didn’t follow through. I worked my hardest, and made a lot of progress, and feel I’m almost there… But I still feel I let her down. I am so close, I can see the end. I feel it.

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One last update. My mom and ales parents are working on starting a business. It will be a Venezuelan food company. Anyway it’s in the works, and tomorrow we are having a tasting party. I am nervous, I think cause it’s lots of new people and odd foods, but I’m always up for the challenge! Bring it on, can’t wait to share with you all how it goes.

Love you all-

Sending hugs! Missing you all bunches!

– Kenz

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2 thoughts on “Here and now…

  1. Don’t feel bad about not being where you wanted to be by the beginning of May! Recovery takes longer than one thinks or hopes, but focus on the amazing progress that you have made!

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